A Bit of Fun with The Mentalist
by celtic-dreamscape-94
Summary: Series of short stories/drabbles that I've started up. Will be Jisbon in some. Probably Grigsby as well. Who knows? First one includes a broken swivel chair. Love it if you read and reviewww.
1. Swivel Chairs and Love Hearts

**A/N: Ok, so, I've started a bunch of drabbles/short stories. Love to hear what you think.**

It was a lovely day outside, but unfortunately, there were no cases for the CBI team, and therefore no need to go outside. Paper work was on the agenda, and probably would be for the whole day. While Agents Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt sifted through mounds of paper and photos and files, Patrick Jane lay on his couch, pretending to be asleep and contemplating nothing much. The brown leather underneath him creaked slightly as he shifted, snuggling further into the worn material. He felt the soft warmth of his hands leaking through his shirt as they lay entwined on his stomach. He sighed softly. Days like this could be considered as bliss, but at the same time, they could be considered as a bit dull. Days like this meant that Patrick wouldn't be able to concoct devious plans to catch a killer, in turn, annoying Lisbon just a little to get her all flustered and irritated, the way he liked her...no. Days like this meant nothing of the sort.

Patrick breathed in deeply as a soft, cool breeze blew through the open window nearby, tickling the hairs on his bare forearms and filling his lungs with fresh air. He could tell that Van Pelt was looking up from her work and staring out the window from the soft sigh that he heard fall from her lips. She longed to be in the warmth of the sun and lying on the beach, most probably with Rigsby alongside her. He smiled softly. He could tell that Cho was sneakily bringing his book out of his desk as a drawer grinded softly behind him. Rigsby was contemplating whether to start up a conversation with Van Pelt over the messaging system. A bag of chips set before the agent kept rustling every few seconds. Patrick could feel the tension, the nervousness, coming from him.

He loved the team. He just wished Lisbon could be here as well, the whole team together in one room. But she had her own office. And that's where he heard a sudden shriek emit from. His eyes opened abruptly. His brows creased together and he slowly pulled himself up from his leathery indent in the couch. He saw the three agents looking worriedly over at the boss' office. Cho looked round at his other team members. Seeing that none of the agents would stand and see what was going on, Patrick stood from the couch and steadily made his way over to Lisbon's office.

Reaching the door, he saw that the blinds were pulled down, and almost knocked, but then remembered who he was and simply walked in. His eyes narrowed at first when Lisbon was nowhere to be seen. The sound had definitely resounded from this office... Something felt off. Like something was missing and he couldn't quite put his finger on it. But then he saw how Lisbon's chair was gone, and how there was an arm stuck out from behind the desk. Patrick promptly carried himself around behind the desk and found Lisbon sprawled across the floor, spilling out of her chair. There was a wheel in front of the filing cabinet on the other side of the office. He couldn't stop the smirk as he realised that Lisbon's chair had broken.

'Uh...Lisbon?'

Patrick prodded her arm with the toe of his shoe. He wasn't really surprised when she didn't wake. His shoe didn't exactly have the power to bring life. Her arm flopped uselessly back into its previous position again. He briefly thought how a shoe of life would be one of the greatest inventions in history as he crouched down and shook her arm gently.

'Liiiiisbon?' he sang, pressing his fingers to her wrist. He felt the pressure of a pulse beating against his fingertips. Good start. He shook her once more before concluding that it wasn't helping.

Carefully stepping either side of the chair, which had landed side-on to the desk, Patrick cautiously threaded his arms underneath Lisbon's.

'One...two..._three!_' he hoisted her off the floor and almost fell over backwards as she collapsed on him. 'Jesus, woman!' he cried, trying to regain his feet. 'I know you can't keep your eyes off me, but there's no need for that...' he murmured with a smirk. Pulling her up into his arms, Patrick carried her across the office and placed her on the couch, proceeding to check the back of her head. It seemed likely that she'd hit her head on the filing cabinet behind her when she fell. There wasn't any blood, but he could feel a nasty lump forming just off centre to the back of her skull.

'Ouch...' he murmured, stepping back.

Patrick scratched the back of his head and contemplated the next actions he would take. He smiled slyly as he came up with his idea. He stepped away from Lisbon and went back to the swivel chair, picking it up and leaning it against the wall in the corner. Pulling the other chair from the front of the desk round to the back, he plopped himself in it and rested his feet up on the desk, inside the space clear of papers. He sat back and tugged a drawer open, looking up at Lisbon as the runners squeaked slightly. She didn't stir. Patrick briefly wondered why no one had come in to check whether they were alright as he began rifling through the contents of the drawer. There were paper clips, some blue tack, a couple of work files that he flicked through quickly, but nothing of true interest to him. Moving onto the next drawer, a small black pad caught his eye. He looked at it interestedly and swiftly pulled it out, removing a piece of blue tack from the back.

'What's this then, my dear Lisbon?' he mused.

The simple, shiny, laminated surface gave nothing away, and that's what made it all the more interesting. He flipped the cover and looked inside. He found a message scrawled in the centrefold.

_Jane. Get the hell out of my desk._

Patrick laughed, keeping the volume down so as not to wake Lisbon. He found it fascinating how she seemed to know that he would go through her desk at some point, and took the time and thought to plant a mysterious looking book to catch his interest. He shut the book, about to put it back in its place, but for something that had caught his eye. A small, crinkled and folded bit of paper snuggled carefully underneath a file. Patrick carefully fixed his fingertips around it and pulled it out. He scrutinized it for a moment before proceeding to unfold it. He was surprised at what he saw, scrawled all over the small piece of paper: love hearts. His eyebrows rose as he stared at the little doodles littering the paper. He'd never thought of Lisbon as the doodling type. Especially not the _slushy _doodling type. But before he could think about it further, Lisbon groaned softly from her position on the couch. Patrick quickly slipped the piece of paper back into the desk and replaced the black notebook. He removed his feet from the desk and wandered to her side, looking down at her as her eyes slowly opened.

'Good morning!' Patrick greeted happily.

Lisbon said something along the lines of: 'Mweorrghyt...'

'Um. You might have to repeat that...' Patrick replied.

'Owww...' Lisbon muttered as she tried to move her head.

'Your chair broke,' Patrick supplied.

Lisbon scrunched her eyes tight and pulled herself up.

'And y'know...I never thought of you as a slushy person...' he sealed it with a grin and raised his eyebrows before he left.

Lisbon stared after him confusedly, rubbing the back of her head. What had he done now?

**A/N: Tell meh what ye think. :D Should I continue with more?**


	2. Smiley Face Balloons

**A/N: Next addition. Thank you for the reviews so far! :D**

Patrick Jane trotted out of the elevator on his floor, his hand secured tightly round a thin gold ribbon. Attached to the end was a big, yellow, Mylar smiley face balloon. A large grin was plastered on his face as he walked through the building towards the bull pen. He drew confused and suspicious looks from everyone he passed, but he ignored them, his grin not faltering, if only widening. Pulling round the corner into the bull pen, the Mylar balloon bouncing off the archway to the workspace, Cho looked up from his computer and stared at Patrick.

'Good morning!' Patrick called cheerily, making his way to his oh so beloved couch.

'Uh...what are you doing with that?' Cho asked wearily, nodding at the balloon floating cheerfully above Patrick's head. He knew all too well what Patrick was capable of, and for that reason, that smiley face seemed to be threatening them all with its suspiciously gleeful smile.

'I shall divulge that information when Lisbon gets here.'

Cho looked worriedly at his colleagues, who returned the same looks.

Patrick tied the ribbon around the back of his chair and took himself off to the kitchen to concoct his early morning tea.

'What do you think he's up to?' Rigsby whispered.

Van Pelt shrugged.

'Maybe it's some weird way of finally asking Lisbon out,' Cho suggested.

'What?' Rigsby's eyebrows creased.

'Don't tell me you haven't noticed the way they are around each other,' Cho replied flatly.

Rigsby simply looked at Cho and then shrugged, expecting him to explain.

Cho imagined himself face-palming. Rigsby could be the most oblivious person on the planet sometimes.

'Never mind.'

Patrick returned with his freshly steaming cup of tea and sank into the couch, crossing over his legs. He glanced up at the smiley face above him and smiled as he swallowed back the hot liquid, feeling it flood through him and warm him from deep inside. He could feel the team's apprehension about what he would end up doing with the balloon, and the reason for having it with him. But honestly, his motives were pure. He grinned as Lisbon stepped into the bull pen. Lisbon narrowed her eyes at him briefly, seemingly unaware of the balloon at first. She started talking through something about a new case. A double homicide, when she saw the grinning yellow smiley turn towards her in the breeze.

'Uh...what is that?' she asked suspiciously.

'It's a balloon, Lisbon.'

'Well, _obviously_. Why is it in here?'

'I thought, that I would bring in a smiley face balloon,' Patrick started. Lisbon looked worried. 'Because it has been proven that a smiley can help lift the mood and make people feel happier.'

'And we're unhappy?' Lisbon replied, looking at Patrick.

'Well. I've noticed a certain dullness about the place recently. I though everyone could do with a lift of the spirits.'

'Right...'

'If you don't feel happy by the end of the day, then I've failed you. And I'm sorry.'

Lisbon shook her head and turned back to the case at hand.

* * *

Patrick wandered into Lisbon's office at the end of the day, the slightly more deflated balloon in his grip. Lisbon rolled her eyes at the sight of it again.

'So, did it work?' Patrick smiled.

'Um, to be honest, I couldn't tell amidst the embarrassment you caused me while dragging that thing around all day.'

Patrick grinned cheekily. 'You know you loved it really.'

Lisbon looked tiredly at Patrick.

'Anyway, I saw an improvement in you today.'

'Really? All I could see was that damn balloon,' Lisbon muttered, shuffling a pile of papers into a neater stack and gathering up her things to go home.

'I want you to keep it,' Patrick offered.

'Uh...how about no?'

'Pleeease?' he put on his best puppy dog eyes.

'No. Go away.'

'It's all sad now, Lisbon.'

Lisbon looked up at the balloon. The irritating smile was still on its face. In fact, she now noticed how much the balloon was like Patrick, with its insanely irksome grin. 'It still looks happy enough to me. Can I go home now please?'

'No.'

'Tough. I'm going, whether you like it or not. And I'm not going with that.'

Lisbon flicked off the desk lamp, the office descending into darkness apart from the few lights that were left on outside.

'Well, I know it made you happy, whether you want to admit it or not.'

'Whatever. Bestow your doppelganger on someone else.'

'I'm not round and yellow...' Patrick complained.

Lisbon rolled her eyes. 'Good night Jane.'

She quickly left the office, and Patrick behind.

Patrick grinned as Lisbon departed and swiftly skipped over to her desk, tying the ribbon around the arm of her chair before making to leave himself.

**A/N: Reviewwwws :D And I shall bestow love upon ye all.**


	3. Waste Baskets

**A/N: Surprising how inspirational one room in a friend's house can be. Right down to the waste basket. XD Thanks for the reviews so far! Enjoy.**

Waste Baskets.

Patrick stood in the break room, stewing a cup of tea, lovingly holding the mug in his grip. He dunked the teabag in and out until he considered the beverage drink-worthy. Flinging the soggy teabag into the sink with a crisp splat, sending droplets of mid-brown tea dribbling towards the drain, Patrick sighed softly as he inhaled the soft aroma rising from the hot mug in barely visible clouds of steam. He took a sip and revelled in the rippling warmth that flooded through him as he swallowed. Damn good stuff.

Patrick began to saunter from the room, his eyes now firmly locked on the couch, into which he would soon burrow. But then he paused momentarily, and his course changed direction to the right when he thought of something he needed to tell Lisbon. But unfortunately, the thoughts that then filled his brain caused a..._distraction_, which led to a miscalculation in his steps. Patrick's toe caught on the corner of the wall on the way out of the break room, and he was soon flying through the air, a yelp parting from his lips. A few precious droplets of tea soared into the air, hovering for a second before plummeting down and splashing on the cool wood flooring. Patrick managed to land precariously on one foot, barely managing to get his other foot out in front of him to stop him tumbling to the floor in a rather disordered heap. He paused, now stabilised, and let out a low whistle. He quickly righted himself and examined the contents of the faded blue mug. Just over half still remained.

Patrick let a relieved smile slip across his face before beginning his path towards Lisbon's office again, only to be hindered once more. A weight seemed to be dragging at his foot...and a kind of...heavy clunk. Patrick's eyes snapped down to his right foot, and he groaned softly, examining how the waste basket had wrapped itself around his shoe, bending his toes back slightly.

'Owww...' he muttered.

Looking from mug to foot and back again, he lifted his waste basket clad foot into the air slightly and softly shook it, trying to dislodge the basket. His eyes narrowed fractionally when it wouldn't budge. He blew out heavily and shook a bit more. It was as if the meshed metal creation was mocking him as he shook and kicked but to no avail.

'Damn. YOU,' he mumbled, a kick coming between each word. Patrick then stopped, looking at the tea sloshing around in his mug. Blowing out again, he waddled into the kitchen. Step, _clunk_, step, _clunk_...

He delivered the mug safely onto the table and stepped out of the room again, ensuring a safe distance between him and any object he might lash out at while trying to pry the waste basket's cold grip from his foot. He pushed and pushed at the rim of the basket, trying to pull his foot out, but only succeeding in hopping on the spot and crashing into the wall. Beginning kicking again, he drew several bemused looks from a couple of agents walking past, but the weird thing was, nobody actually stopped to help. Patrick grimaced and lashed out one more time.

A smile lit up his face as the tightness around his foot dissipated, but the grimace was soon back as he watched the basket fly across the hall. Maybe in a previous life, the waste basket had had some kind of vicious intentions, because the sound of crashing and cracking filled the air as the metal projectile crashed into one of Lisbon's office windows. The cracks webbed out from the contact point. Patrick froze. He bit his lip. And then Lisbon came charging out of the office. (And believe him, today was a bad day for Lisbon. She'd been cooped up in that office all day. She was like a caged, miniature bull...with red eyes). Patrick made quick work of darting into the break room and taking a gulp of tea, chucking the mug into the sink before dashing out the other side and making his escape.

Lisbon took one look at the waste basket lying beneath the huge crack in her window.

'JANE!'


	4. Elephants

**A/N: Mwahaha, next one ^_^**

Elephants.

_Teresa Lisbon would eat an elephant before the day she admitted to having a thing for Patrick Jane..._

Lisbon prodded at a pencil so that it rolled across her desk and clattered to the floor. She rested her head on her hand and huffed heavily. The pile of paperwork filling her desk was eating away at her and at times like these, she wished there was a case. Ok, it sounded bad. Like she wanted someone to die just so she could get out of having to drown in a forest of paper. No. She just wanted something to occupy her. Something to..._distract _her from her duties. No matter how much it didn't sound like her. So naturally, when Patrick Jane walks in carrying a small shopping bag, it's some kind of relief, even if he can be one of the world's most annoying people. It was a regular occurrence for her to think about whether there was a world record for it. Patrick would most definitely win. But she brought herself back to the moment. She would most definitely want to be mentally present in the room before Patrick tried anything.

Immediately, his grin lit up the room, and not necessarily in a good way. It looked like one of those...devious...scheming smiles, if Lisbon was correct.

'What?' she asked, a little snappier than usual. After all, she had been staring at and dribbling writing across pages with about as much enthusiasm as a damp sock for the past few hours. And maybe the fact that Patrick always seemed to be grinning when she was pissed off.

'Aww, our dear Lisbon seems to be a little miffed.'

Lisbon was mentally crying out for help. If she looked at another page, her brain might melt and start sloshing in her skull. And that wasn't a good thing.

Patrick picked the pencil off the floor which Lisbon had prodded there earlier, placing it carefully back on the desk. He popped himself on the couch and smiled innately at Lisbon.

'Whaaat?' Lisbon whined, 'If you're just gonna sit there and gloat about how you have _no _paperwork, can you please carry your ass out of here?'

Patrick grinned a little wider, and Lisbon was about to kick him out, when he reached inside the bag. She eyed him suspiciously as he dug in, sticking his tongue out and looking away, as if doing a lucky dip. Eventually, after an age of rustling around in the bag, which clearly only contained one or two things, Patrick pulled out a small bag. He grinned at Lisbon again before chucking it in her direction. It skidded across the desk and landed before her. She watched him grin for a moment longer, before switching her gaze to the desk. She couldn't help a small smile slipping onto her face as she looked down at the bag of gummy zoo animals.

'Gummy sweets?'

'Yes. Gummy sweets. They make everything better. See, you're smiling already and you haven't even eaten one.'

Lisbon shook her head softly, ripping open the seal and picking a red monkey from the bag, popping it in her mouth.

'You know I love you sometimes, right?' Lisbon slouched back into her chair and chewed the sweet, savouring the E numbers and sugar.

'Only sometimes?' Patrick asked, mock hurt filling his expression.

'Yes, only sometimes,' Lisbon replied mercilessly.

Patrick grinned. He watched Lisbon for a moment longer as her head fell back and rested on the back of her chair, her eyes closing. Falling back into the couch, he pulled his own bag out and tore it open, chewing thoughtfully on an orange zebra. Eventually, he grew bored of their conversation-less meeting and descended to a new level of cool when he assumed the role of throwing a purple giraffe at Lisbon. It bounced off of her face and into her lap, causing a huge grin to erupt over his face when she jumped slightly and opened one eye to examine the creature lying on her thigh, then turning a one eyed glare on Patrick.

'Hi,' he grinned.

Lisbon opened her other eye and blinked once.

Patrick found it hard to control the laughter that was threatening to spill out of the rapidly growing smile on his face.

'Why?' she answered simply.

Patrick bit his lip, still trying to stop the laughing fits.

Lisbon closed her eyes and shook her head softly.

'Y'know, sometimes I wonder whether you actually grew up or not. Maybe you're a six year old trapped in a grown man's body.'

Lisbon popped a yellow elephant.

_But I still love you..._ she mused silently.

She suddenly stopped, her cheeks filling to the brim with a bright red tinge.

Patrick narrowed his eyes, a smirk playing across his lips.

'What did _you _just think of?'


	5. Clouds

**A/N: I'm REALLY sorry it's taken so long to update this. I just had an immense...not wanting to write-ness after I finished my main story, Whiplash, so even though I had plenty of ideas for this collection, I just didn't feel like writing. But I'm on a bit of a high after completely completing LEGO Harry Potter, so I got myself to write this. Hope you enjoy!**

Clouds.

The front of the SUV exploded with a cloud of grey smoke as the bonnet was flipped open on the side of an otherwise empty Californian road. The clouds of smoke caught a gentle breeze, and swirled around in the air, spiralling higher and higher. Lisbon stumbled backwards blindly, coughing heavily. A few colourful words edged their way in between the choked splutters.

'Dammit!' she yelled through the smog.

'I guess this means we won't be going to listen to the lies pour from Alex Jeffries' irksome face?' Patrick's voice resounded through the blinding clouds to Lisbon's ears, referring to one of the main suspects in their current case, whom Patrick had developed an extreme disliking to due to the way the man was a blatant liar. And the way he brewed awful tea. Seriously, it was _criminal _to brew such a cup. Patrick had mentioned a number of times how they should lock him up just for that.

Lisbon groaned. They were so close to cracking this case wide open, and it was now that the engine decided to throw the toys from the pram. She wiped a hand frustratedly over her forehead, feeling tiny bits of dirt rub and scratch at her face. Pulling her phone from her jacket pocket, she flipped it open and dialled the AAA.

'Uh, Lisbon? Where are ya?' Patrick called, sticking his hands out before him as he jumped from the SUV. He literally couldn't see a thing except the swirling smoke. Talk about an engine tiffy. This was verging on ridiculous. It was like a...super...mahussive...fantabulously big smoke bomb. If there was such a thing. Patrick doubted it. He began to follow the sound of Lisbon's voice as she filled in the road services about their situation. Eventually, he could make out the petit figure of his boss, her face slightly distorted by smoke.

'Hi,' he murmured as she hung up.

Lisbon huffed. 'Well, it's gonna take about an hour for them to get to us.'

'Wonderful!' Patrick replied cheerfully.

'Wonderful?' Lisbon replied questioningly, 'How is that wonderful, exactly?'

'One, our meeting with Jeffries is put off for another hour or two, and two, there is a _lovely_ grassy bank over there that we can sit on,' Patrick pointed over to the side of the road, where a stripe of emerald, moist grass lined the concrete of the road, just visible as a particularly strong gust of wind took the majority of the smoke up into the air.

Lisbon reluctantly made her way to where Patrick motioned. If she said she liked the idea of having to go to Jeffries' house again, she would be lying, but sitting on a road side with Patrick Jane, with no witnesses, could be considered one of the most dangerous things in the world. Who knew what would happen? She wished she could have called Cho to pick them up. She hated not working when there was work to be done, yet he was on a stakeout with the rest of the team elsewhere.

Perching herself carefully on the rich green grass, a bit further along than the SUV, she was glad to be out of the clouds of smoke billowing from the engine. She watched Patrick saunter over to her spot, a wide grin plastered across his face.

'What's got you?'

'Ahh, nothing,' he smiled contentedly as he sat carefully beside Lisbon.

Lisbon groaned and hit her forehead softly on her knees which were pulled up to her chest.

'Cheer up Lisbon, I'm sure there's plenty of things we can do on this...empty...roadside,' Patrick finished the sentence with a smile to keep their hopes alive.

'Hmm, sounds promising,' Lisbon replied, uninspired by Patrick's statement.

'...We can play...I Spy.'

'I Spy? No. Besides, the only things around here are grass and road.'

'What about the sky?'

'Oh, _three _things.'

'Clouds?'

'Four?'

'Birds?'

'Yippee, five.'

'Flowers?'

'Oh, shut up.'

Patrick couldn't help but grin a little. He sighed and slowly melted back so that he lay flat on his back on the grass, his fingers intertwined beneath his head. He crossed his legs over and looked up at the sky, taking a deep breath of fresh air into his lungs. After a few minutes he glanced over at Lisbon, who still sat with her head resting on her knees.

'Hey, Lisbon.'

'Yeah?' she mumbled.

'I see a dinosaur.'

'Of course you do.'

'No, really, I _see _a dinosaur.'

'And I see a pink giraffe.'

'Really?'

'No.'

'Oh...but really, Lisbon, look.'

Lisbon gave in and looked back at Patrick to see where he was pointing.

'Where?'

'In the sky.'

'Ah, a _sky _dinosaur. Well, why didn't you say? They're _everywhere _these days...'

'Look. At. The cloud!'

'...Ohhh.'

'Yeah. I really _did _see a dinosaur.'

Lisbon studied the dinosaur-shaped cloud, its puffy soft teeth bared at the simple blue of the sky around it. Its eye had begun to disappear as the breeze took the cloud apart, and its tail began to swirl into a haze. She smiled softly, looking down at the boyish grin spread-eagled on Patrick's face as he watched the different shapes in the clouds go by. She looked up again herself and saw a knight float by, waving his sword wildly at the deformed shape of the dinosaur. Soon she found herself laying back next to Patrick and pointing out particularly good clouds. It almost felt like the childhood she'd never had as she identified strange creatures with names that she made up.

'Look, it's a donkish!'

'Lisbon. What on _earth _is a donkish?'

'Well, look. It's got the head of a donkey...but it's got a fish tail.'

'That's even worse than my poodlemonkey.'

'Oh, I don't think so. Your poodlemonkey had a droopy eye and a flattened face.'

'That's only cos you missed it in its proper glory.'

Lisbon laughed. 'Listen to us. Anyone comes across us and they'll think we're lunatics with police badges.'

'Well...we _are _lunatics with police badges.'

'_You _are,' Lisbon poked Patrick's shoulder, 'I'm a Special Agent.'

'Yeah, special agent meaning you're _special_,' Patrick grinned, 'Proven by the fact that you just created a donkish.'

Lisbon's jaw dropped, but her eyes sparkled with laughter.

Before either of them knew it, an hour and a half had passed, with them just watching the sky and laughing at each other's stupid concoctions and new creatures. They barely noticed the soft rumble of the AAA van engine come to a halt just behind the SUV.

Suddenly, a smirk crept onto Patrick's face.

'Hey, that one looks like you in that little...green bikini of yours...'

'Wha...'Lisbon's head shot round.

Patrick raised his eyebrows at her and then looked round seeing the AAA van.

'How'd you know abou...' Her face filled with a bright pink that she tried to force down, yet failed to. She looked from the sky to Patrick and back again.

'Oh, hey, the AAA's here!' Patrick proclaimed, clambering to his feet and wandering off to meet them.

'JANE!'


	6. Buckaroo Cho

_**A/N: Long time no see! Well, I've had this idea for ages, but I guess I've been too absorbed in Red Letters to try to write another drabble, but finally got to it! Enjoy :)**_

Buckaroo Cho.

Jane slouched back in his chair behind his desk, puffing out a long breath and looking around, trying to think of something to do. His fingers tapper-tap-tapped on the surface of the desk as his eyes scoured the surroundings for inspiration. Rigsby looked up from his desk, watching Jane's fingers tapping, getting irritated. It was only about fifteen minutes since they'd all arrived, and the consultant was already bored.

'Jane...' Rigsby spoke.

'Mm?' Patrick replied, swinging his head round to meet Rigsby's gaze.

'Fingers?'

Patrick narrowed his eyes. '...Oh...sorry.' He raised his hand from the desk, showing his palm, and clasped his hands in his lap, beginning to swivel in his chair, searching again. He whistled a quiet tuneless melody as he pulled a desk drawer open to a small pile of paper clips and blue-tack in centre of the space. The drawer below contained a pack of cards, a dice, and a dollar. Opening the third, among the junk and bits and bobs, Jane rummaged. Elastic bands, a mini magnetic fishing set...with missing magnets, bouncy balls, envelopes...

Raising his eyes to the ceiling, his expression of concentration, his hand fished around. Soon he pulled something out. A pair of black plastic rimmed joke glasses. The lenses had black and white swirls in them, like hypnotic whirlwind. He cocked his head slightly with a smirk, flipping them round and slipping them onto his face.

Rigsby switched his gaze to Jane again as the consultant fashioned the glasses, making a silly face at him.

He snorted with laughter. 'Nice, Jane.'

Jane removed the glasses with a grin, observing them once more before he looked up with a strike of inspiration. He lifted himself from his chair with a small hop and crept quietly over to Cho's desk, drawing suspicious sideways glances from Van Pelt and Rigsby. Patrick crouched down beside Cho, who had fallen asleep in his chair, arms folded across his chest. He carefully pushed the glasses onto Cho, carefully placing the arms behind his ears. Jane smiled widely, standing up. He looked round at Rigsby, where an amused smirk had appeared on the agent's face.

Jane's gaze scoured the bullpen mischievously, until his eyes rested on the coat stand, where a black trilby rested on top. He skipped over, pinching the rim of the hat between thumb and index finger before going back to Cho and softly perching it on his head.

Rigsby cast brief glances around the area as Jane began to decorate Cho with various bits and bobs that he could find. Eventually, his mouth began to hurt with the spreading smirk that creased his lips. He looked across at Van Pelt, who had a similar smile. They both stood from their chairs at the same time before they began to search around, abandoning their work for Jane's antics. Van Pelt crept across the bullpen, pulling a flower from a vase on one of the furthest unoccupied desks. She approached the still snoozing Cho, and gently pushed the flower stalk behind Cho's ear, to an approving grin from both other men.

Rigsby delivered a bright pink scarf around the agent's neck, trying hard to suppress snorts of laughter as he carefully flicked the end over Cho's shoulder. Jane, Rigsby and Van Pelt froze when Cho twitched slightly, snorting in his sleep, his head falling to the side. They breathed out a sigh of relief. The scene Cho would have seen when he woke up...Jane readied to the left, with a pipe (goodness knows where he got it from), Rigsby with his hand over Cho's shoulder, and Van Pelt silently giggling in the background.

The elevator doors pinged open as Jane moved forward to push the pipe cautiously in the corner of Cho's mouth.

'Uh...what's going on?' Lisbon asked, standing in the doorway to the bullpen, 'Or shouldn't I ask?'

Jane shushed her softly, his mischievous smirk playing at his lips.

Lisbon narrowed her eyes, observing the sleeping figure of Cho, with his black trilby, joke glasses, pipe, flower behind the ear, bright pink scarf, stuffed toy cat in his folded arms... apple balanced on his head?

'Jane, return Cho to his factory settings and go and sleep on your couch,' Lisbon told him sternly, despite a small smirk just twitching at her lips, 'Like a good consultant. And you two,' she looked at Van Pelt and Rigsby, 'Do some work.'

'Lisbon!' Jane whined playfully.

'Now.'

Jane looked at her grumpily. Lisbon refused to be taken in and nodded towards Cho, 'Go.'

She began striding towards her office, but just before she pushed through the door, she looked back over her shoulder, seeing Jane picking up something else to put on the agent.

'Cho!' she called loudly.

Cho suddenly sat up, fully awakened from his slumber, the pipe falling from his mouth and the apple rolling away over the floorboards to somewhere underneath Van Pelt's desk. The stuffed cat tumbled to the floor rolling a few centimetres from Cho's feet.

'What the...' Cho muttered, pulling off the glasses just in time to see two agents and a consultant scurry away to their desks and pull work out like nothing had happened.


	7. Singing Flowers and Red Strawberries

_**A/N: Yeah, so it's over a week until Valentine's Day, but I was inspired by a plush flower that my mum got for her birthday? Mother's day? I don't know, but I saw it and came up with this :D I just really wanted to write another oneshot for this collection. And inspiration comes from anything :3 It just ended up being Valentine's. Enjoy!**_

Singing Flowers and Red Strawberries.

It was Valentine's Day, and the day had dragged on until late at the CBI Headquarters. Unfortunately, murderers didn't seem to want to stop murdering for any holiday or special day; even the day of love. Lisbon was just finishing up the stack of paperwork that had been created by the last case. This time, surprisingly, it wasn't _all _because of Jane. She sighed heavily as she marked the final page with a scruffy, tired signature which left much to be desired. She shoved it all to one side and let her pen fall to the desk with a clatter before she rested her forehead atop of the wooden surface, feeling sleep tugging at her eyelids.

She wished she had a date. Then she might have been able to escape earlier, leaving the paperwork for another time. But the last time Lisbon had had a Valentine was five years ago. She never really found the time for much of a personal life. The extent of her relaxation time was old movies and ice cream every now and then, snuggled into the couch in her over-sized football shirt, or reading a book on the odd occasion, dragging her away from the harsh reality of the career she had chosen with a little romance and affection. But not real romance and affection. She sighed heavily, lifting her head slightly just to let it fall back down with a thud. She remained in that position for a while, wondering why she always had to be alone, watching so many people leave the office early for their dinner dates, Van Pelt and Rigsby included.

Slowly, she dragged her head back off of the desk and pulled herself out of her chair. Looping her fingers through the handle of an empty mug, she took it hostage in her grip and stole it away to the break room to fill with a final coffee before she made her way home. Driving right now would be a bad idea, and would probably conclude in her falling asleep and crashing into a happy couple's vehicle while they made their way to their restaurant reservation. She laughed at how bitter she sounded on the subject of Valentine's. It was like she had taken up position of Scrooge, but for Valentine's Day.

Lisbon pressed down the button on the kettle and fished the coffee out of the cupboard, concealing a heavy yawn behind a bunched fist. She spooned three teaspoons-full of the ground coffee granules into the mug, needing the stronger hit of coffee. She almost felt like her knees were going to buckle on the spot, and she would melt to the ground in a heap; fall asleep until morning, where someone would come across her eventually and wake her up.

'Damn it...' she murmured as a few consecutive yawns made her eyes water, and cause the corners of her vision to twinkle. Dabbing her eyes lightly with a bit of shirt sleeve, she poured the now boiled water into the mug, stirring in a dash of milk before tidying away and slowly meandering back to her office. As yet another yawn broke free, she headed to the couch - the new one that Jane had randomly come up with a month or so ago (she had kept it in the end, despite her wanting her old one back just so she could be annoyed at Jane). She sunk into it, sipping her coffee delicately before letting her head fall back into the soft cushions. It was when she took a second sip that she noticed something on her desk. Her tired gaze flickered round to look at it, steadily focusing on the object which hadn't been there before.

'...Huh...?' she murmured, reluctantly standing from her couch and getting across to the desk, 'What is that?'

She looked down at the plush flower which sat on her desk, on top of a box of chocolates, a red shimmery ribbon tied around them. The flower had red petals, and a smiling face in the middle. Lisbon looked up from the gifts and round the office, all around the corridors and spaces visible from her office. She was sure no one else was left in the building, except her. And suddenly there were chocolates and a squishy soft flower on her desk. There had only been a few minutes between her leaving for the coffee and returning...and surely no one would have been able to slip past the break room without her noticing? Without really registering it, a slight pressure had gone from her fingers to the flower's stalk, and she almost jumped out of her skin as the flower began to sing. Lisbon's gaze snapped to the flower as it rang off a 'Will you be my valentine?' song. The little squeaky voice was a little tinny at the edges.

'What...?'

She stepped outside of her office, scouring the empty hallways for someone to appear, declaring that they had left the gifts for her. Her first guess would have been Jane, due to the ridiculous flower that was still singing in her hand, but she was sure he had left a long time ago, and why would he ask her to be his Valentine? Lisbon stood in the slightly darkened hallway, her eyebrows creased together, still searching the area, waiting for someone to come out of hiding. But someone appearing wasn't what happened next. It was the flower again. This time it was speaking, rather than singing, with a voice that Lisbon immediately knew was Jane's. She stared with confusion, bringing the flower up from her side.

_Uh...is this thing on?... It's a flower, why am I asking if it's on? ... Anyway! Hello there, Lisbon! Happy Valentine's Day! Well, I hated to see you working in your office on the evening of Valentine's Day, without a date to go on, and don't try and say you have one, because I know you don't... But moving on, how about you join me on the roof in... let's say five minutes? You know you want to. This is Jane, over and out._

Lisbon simply stood there for a moment, mildly confused, and then slightly worried, and then moving on to shake her head softly with a smile. Honestly. She manoeuvred back into her office, placing the flower on the desk and opening the box of chocolates to pop one in her mouth before she left. If the flower had been a walky-talky, then she probably would have complained and rejected Jane's request, but there was nothing else to do, and now she was curious, so she carried the chocolates with her as she began for the elevator.

It was a fancy selection box with all sorts of flavours. Different fondants and truffle centres were wrapped in thick Belgian milk chocolate, drizzled with white chocolate or dark, and little flakes of chocolate just to make sure they were chocolaty enough. Lisbon savoured the taste of a gorgeous hazelnut praline filled one as the elevator took her to the upper floor. She barely noted that she should probably be worrying about what Jane had in store for her on the roof, but the chocolate was _really _nice...

It wasn't long before Lisbon was climbing the stairs up onto the roof of the CBI Headquarters, happily devouring another chocolate as she emerged onto the roof. She searched the roof in the dull light, to see a spot in the centre of the roof, where faint candle glow could be seen, causing the atmosphere around to illuminate with a soft golden glow. Lisbon smiled softly as she saw Jane sat on a blanket laid across the gravelly roof surface with a bottle of champagne and a plateful of something. She made her way across the roof towards him, the smile still stupidly plastered across her face.

'Jane?' she greeted amusedly.

'Oh, hey Lisbon! Glad you could join us.'

'Us?'

'Me and the bottle of champagne,' Jane grinned, ' Oh, and the plate of strawberries. They would have been gravely saddened if you hadn't shown up.'

Lisbon smiled, subtly biting her lip as she sank cross-legged to the blanket.

'So, uh, what's this all for?'

'Well, I couldn't leave you alone in your office working on Valentine's night. So, if you'll let me, I'll be your last-minute Valentine.'

'You know people are usually meant to be in love or be in a relationship for them to be Valentines, right?'

'Details,' Jane replied with a smile, readying himself to pull the cork of the champagne. With a loud pop, the cork flew across the rooftop, narrowly missing bouncing off the edge, and a fountain of bubbly champagne burst from the bottle neck, dousing a candle in its flow. The growing darkness hugged them a little closer as the flame flickered out, leaving just three.

Lisbon laughed, 'Nicely done, Jane.'

'Why thank you...' he replied, letting soft laughter slip from his lips as he poured champagne into the two glasses before them, 'I thought so too.'

Taking her glass, Lisbon chinked glasses with Jane and took a sip, feeling the soft fizz of the golden liquid on her tongue. 'Mmm...' she murmured softly, 'That's good stuff.'

She leant back onto her hands, looking up at the sky, which was rapidly filling with silvery, twinkling stars. It was a still, clear night, with no clouds to haze the sky over, and the stars shone with a gentle silvery grey amongst the deep blue canvas of the night sky. There was a soft coolness in the air that was just right - not cold enough to chill.

'This is nice, Jane. Thank you,' Lisbon smiled, glancing over at her colleague.

'No problem... I could see you needed it,' he replied, giving her his own smile, 'Fancy a strawberry?'

'I do...'

Jane picked one from the plate, not letting her reach for one herself, and held it before her mouth, waiting for her to take a bite.

'You're going to feed me strawberries...?' Lisbon questioned, raising an eyebrow at him.

'Why not? Now bite.'

She narrowed her eyes and reached for the strawberry herself, but Jane whipped it out of the way, 'Ah, ah.'

Lisbon couldn't help the smile from creeping onto her lips as she opened them for the strawberry that Jane dangled in front of her again. He slowly moved it towards her mouth, smiling as she reached forward a little for the fruit. Pulling it away slightly, Jane grinned as Lisbon gave him a narrowed-eyes-sideways-glance.

'Gimme the strawberry,' she told him sternly. Jane laughed, moving the red fruit towards her again, watching her anticipate the taste, as her lips twitched slightly towards it again. He let her take the bite, but he couldn't stop himself from leaning forward and placing a kiss to the corner of her mouth just as she took it. Lisbon froze mid-strawberry-munch and switched her gaze fully to the man sat beside her. She stared for a few seconds, before gulping down the bite strawberry in one go.

'What was tha-' she started, but was broken off by Jane's lips suddenly on hers. Jane's heart was beating like a heavy bass drum as he prompted her to reciprocate the movements, the taste of strawberry covering her lips. Soon, Lisbon had recovered from the shock, and all she found she could do was to return the kiss. She didn't really understand why it was happening, but now wasn't the time to question. The taste of champagne and strawberries was all she could think about as the tip of her tongue skimmed over Jane's lip, and her hand slowly made its way up to rest on his neck. Her fingers curled round and tangled in the blonde curls at the base of his neck as they continued, their lips dancing in an intricate routine, choreographed by feelings that had been hidden for too long.

When they finally pulled away, they looked at each other breathlessly, and a soft smile broke over Jane's lips.

'Does this make me your official Valentine now?'


End file.
